The Give and Go: What Do You Fear About the NBA?

Image via TotalProSports.com

The Give and Go is a quick back and forth between Paul Mitchell and Chris St. Jean about a relevant subject in the NBA at that moment.

Chris:  

Mitchell, despite the heroic return of LaMarcus Aldridge, the Portland Trail Blazers have now lost three straight and Wesley Matthews has stated that they are no longer ‘feared’ by other NBA teams. That had me thinking, what do you fear in the NBA?

Mitchell: Well this can go in different directions…

I could break it down into scariest players or most intimidating concepts or even apocalyptic scenarios, but I’ll try a little bit of each and list the 25 things I fear most as an NBA fan. These aren’t in any order.

1.  Nikola Pekovic - no subtext needed, dude’s scary

2.  Injuries - not good for business in any sense #BanKnees

3.  Kendrick Perkins’s elbows/scowl - and his Choke Slam finishing move

4.  Parity/Expansion

5.  Evan Turner max-contract extension with the Boston Celtics.

6.  Brad Stevens eventually getting fed up with losing and coaching inferior talent and returns to coach at the University of Indiana or as the Dean at Butler.

7.  The Washington Wizards extend Ernie Grunfeld and Randy Wittman to long-term contracts.

7.  The Washington Wizards blow their Kevin Durant-cap space in the summer of 2015 as Ernie Grunfeld tries to save his job with a panic signing.

8.  The Boston Celtics, in an attempt to emulate the Toronto Raptors, hire the rapper Benzino as their “Global Ambassador” (or replace “Boston Celtics” and “Benzino” with “Chicago Bulls” and “Chief Keef”, for all of you non-Olds.)

9.  Two words: LOCKOUT!

10. The Los Angeles Lakers somehow stabilize their ownership/front office situations and become good again (i.e. sign Kevin Durant in the summer of 2016 or Russell Westbrook in 2017), particularly with Kobe Bryant still around.

11. TNT promotes Reggie Miller to lead color commentator on their game broadcasts.

11. The NBA increases their League Pass restrictions to black out the rest of the league on nights when the big-market lottery teams are on national TV.

12. One more League Pass one: They bring back that insufferable elevator music on League Pass Broadband games. (You know what I’m talking about…)

13. The Brooklyn Nets make the playoffs in 2016, ‘17, and ‘18.

14. The Brooklyn Nets trade Mason Plumlee for (more) unathletic veterans who can’t shoot, and I’m stuck recapping their games for the last few months.

15. Paul George suffers some sort of injury setback in his return from the broken foot and struggles to return to his MVP-level of play from last season. Thankfully, this fear will (hopefully) soon be abated.

16. The Atlanta Hawks win the East, make a (Conference) Finals run, pack the house throughout the playoffs, then are bought and relocated to Seattle over the summer. (Basically any plot that involves stealing a historic franchise away from its fans, even if it resurrects the Super Sonics.)

17. Poor health from any of our NBA legends. Unfortunately I think about this a lot.

18. Notorious referees working high-profile playoff games. #refshow

19. The Sacramento Kings lose/alienate Boogie and the trade narratives start up. Maybe once Kevin Love signs this summer, the narrative machine will sniff out its next target? (I’m picturing the smoke monster from Lost.)

20. David Blatt doesn’t last the season with the Cleveland Cavaliers and is replaced by Mark Jackson before the playoffs begin. Even better if LeBron James is revealed to have masterminded the whole thing and Blatt is then labeled as a “can’t reach NBA players because he didn’t play in the league” (UGH…) bust of a head coach and retires outright or to the European/Russian leagues. Hypothetically it would be entertaining to see Mark Jackson coach these Cavs but not at the expense of a potentially good NBA coach in David Blatt. Out of all my scenarios this one is probably the least realistic, after Cleveland’s ongoing 11-game winning streak, and to that I say “yeah but still!”

21. Doc Rivers’s utter disinterest in draft picks leads the Los Angeles Clippers to collapse as a contender quicker than they would otherwise.

22. Some of these rebuilding situations never progress and long-suffering fans of organizations like the Orlando Magic, Minnesota Timberwolves, New York Knicks, Utah Jazz, Philadelphia 76ers, and Sacramento Kings find themselves rooting for the same frustrating teams five years from now.

23. David Stern somehow reclaims his Commissioner-ship in a Machiavellian coup de grace. (Maybe my most realistic scenario yet.)

24. Anthony Davis keeps improving as a basketball player but is unable to carry his team to the playoffs in the loaded Western Conference over the next few seasons. The New Orleans Pelicans continue to trade (mid- to late-lottery) draft picks for steadier and more expensive veterans in their “quick-fix-to-contention” team-building strategy, and Anthony Davis is eventually forced to be the bad guy and request a trade (ala Kevin Love or Chris Paul or Kobe Bryant), effectively killing basketball in New Orleans. On the bright side, The Unibrow would make a great, menacing villain/heel.

25. As always, I fear that the Boston Celtics will either get screwed in the draft lottery or screw up their draft altogether. Entirely plausible.

That was fun, in a very morbid and nihilistic sort of way. Let’s do it again; I can keep #25 and re-use it next season!

Alright, Chris, I’ll put it to you the same way you did to me: what do you fear in the NBA? GO!

Chris:

Now that you mention it.  This can be viewed as a bit morbid.  Of course we’re all terrified of great players getting injured and young prospects never living up to their promise.  Maybe I should twist this question a bit.  If I were in the NBA, what would I fear?

Hmmm……Let's see.

• LeBron James in transition.  There’s just no way I’m taking an offensive foul from this.

• Attempting to stay in front of Jamal Crawford: 

 

 

• Trying to finish over Rudy Gobert’s 7’9” wing span in the lane, aka allowing 37.1% FG% at the rim. (That basically goes for Hassan Whiteside now as well -> 39.7%)

• Getting stuck with a bad GM/coach/ownership situation: i.e: DeMarcus Cousins, Anthony Davis, Victor Oladipo, Ty Lawson, plus way too many to list.

• Getting old:

 

 

• Kyle Korver 3’s in transition: 53.3% from 3 in catch and shoot situations.  Find that man!

• Steph Curry PUJIT’s (for the uninitiated, Pull-Up Jumpers in Transition).

• Pissing off Steve Blake.

• Trying to contain John Wall on the fast break:

 

 
• The Atlanta Hawks making me and my teammates look foolish on defense:
  
  

I could go on Mitchell, but I think leaving off on the Eastern Conference NBA Player(s) of the Month is just the right note to hit.  Until next week...