Five Fake Trades

NBA.com

1. Brooklyn trades Kevin Garnett and Alan Anderson to Portland for Thomas Robinson, Joel Freeland, and Meyers Leonard


Why Brooklyn does it: It’s time to shed vets for any return possible. Draft picks probably aren’t too valuable to a GM who basically traded his next three drafts to the Boston Celtics, so maybe getting a look at some young bigs over the last couple of months of the season will be enough of a return for two solid veterans. The worse the Nets get, the less effective these role players become.

Why Portland does it: Thomas Robinson is an impending free agent and Joel Freeland is a rotation player when healthy, but Meyers Leonard has played well this season as he adjusts to a more perimeter-oriented game and his inclusion might be a deal breaker for the Trail Blazers. KG and Alan Anderson would be tremendous assets in the locker room and with the bench unit, for a younger team that lacks in veterans with playoff experience. The problem is with compensation, as the Blazers’ cap sheet lacks in the mid-level contracts needed to match KG’s $12 million salary. I doubt general manager Neil Olshey deals all three of his young, backup bigs so maybe Dorell Wright replaces Meyers? Either way Portland could use a veteran upgrade off the bench or to platoon with Nic Batum.

2. New York trades Jose Calderon to Detroit for Jonas Jerebko and Joel Anthony

Why New York does it: Clearing future salary. There’s a safe chance that Jose Calderon won’t play on the next great Knicks squad and shedding his salary this season could pay dividends in free agency this summer or next. Knicks fans will hope for a draft pick in return from Detroit (probably a second rounder) but ridding themselves of Calderon’s contract should be the primary purpose. Also, Jonas Jerebko can play.

Why Detroit does it: They really, really want to make the playoffs in the Eastern Conference, in Stan Van Gundy’s first year in the organization. Jose Calderon’s three years and $22 million is a substantial financial commitment to take on in Brandon Jennings’s absence, but the Pistons’s cap sheet is relatively clean going forward. Calderon is an efficient and steady point guard that can play pick-and-roll with Andre Drummond or catch-and-shoot off of Greg Monroe kick-outs. The issues present itself next season, when the Pistons would then have three point guards (Jennings, Calderon, and DJ Augustin) under contract for about $18 million combined.

3. Minnesota trades Mo Williams to Charlotte for Bismack Biyombo and a 2017 2nd-round pick (or swap)

Why Minnesota does it: They get a draft pick back and a few months to audition Bismack Biyombo under their coaches and in their system (*insert Timberwolves joke*). Ricky Rubio recently returned from injury and rookie Zach LaVine played some point guard in his absence, and Mo Williams’s 52-point game might have built up some actual trade value and saved him from being a contract-buyout guy.

Why Charlotte does it: Head coach Steve Clifford might not want to part with the anchor of his bench defense but there’s no denying Charlotte’s need for outside shooting. Point guard Kemba Walker will miss another month or so as he recovers from a torn meniscus, and Mo Williams can hold down the starting point guard spot in his absence and come off the bench or play in some double-point guard lineups when he returns.

4. Boston trades Brandon Bass and Marcus Thornton to Oklahoma City for Kendrick Perkins, Jeremy Lamb, and Perry Jones III

Why Boston does it: Jeremy Lamb and Perry Jones III are two more assets for Celtics general manager Danny Ainge to add to his collection. Both players have struggled with consistency in Oklahoma City and could use a change of scenery, while Kendrick Perkins would return to Boston to toughen up the Celtics’ young big men (Tyler Zeller, Jared Sullinger). Ainge would probably prefer a first-round pick in return for Brandon Bass and Marcus Thornton but not many teams can absorb nearly $15 million in salary at this point in the season.

Why Oklahoma City does it: The Thunder need to make the playoffs this season and in every season that Kevin Durant still collects their paychecks. General manager Sam Presti hoped that his young players and draft picks would develop into effective role players around the team’s “Big 3” of KD, Russell Westbrook, and Serge Ibaka, but injuries to his top two stars forced players like Lamb, Jones, Andre Roberson, and Reggie Jackson to take on added responsibilities, for better or worse. Durant is still in-and-out of the lineup with injuries and Russ is dropping gems on a nightly basis, but for the Thunder to leap two teams to take the eighth seed in the Western Conference playoff race, they’ll need consistent play from their role guys. Bass and Thornton have been prone to bouts of inconsistency themselves in their careers but are proven NBA players who have previously contributed to playoff teams. Presti might aim higher, with Perkins’s expiring and some of his flawed young pieces, but he’s already traded his first-round pick in the Dion Waiters trade and probably isn’t getting Brook Lopez for this package, given his inspired play recently for Brooklyn. Bass and Thornton will help the Thunder, and Reggie Jackson still looms as another potential trade asset.

5. DeMarcus "BOOOOOOOOGIIIIIIEEEEE!" Cousins

First of all, any narrative campaign to trade Boogie is at least a year or two away, no matter how disinterested he appears on defense. It’s an unlikely exercise this season, at the least, but the possibility of a Cousins combustion under interim head coach Tyrone Corbin as the losses continue to accumulate is certainly realistic. For now, I’ll throw him in a couple of fake trades to Eastern Conference contenders, as there just aren’t many superstar, franchise-type players on the market this season.

a.) Sacramento trades DeMarcus Cousins and Jason Thompson to Atlanta for Jeff Teague, Paul Millsap, and Adreian Payne

Why Sacramento does it: So yeah, the Sacramento Kings aren’t trading Boogie until they absolutely have to (and even then…) If, hypothetically, they had to, the Atlanta Hawks make a lot of sense. Jeff Teague is a 26-year old, two-way point guard who will be playing in his first All-Star game and would solidify a position of need in a conference that’s stacked with All-Star-caliber point guards. Paul Millsap is an All Star on an expiring contract that could replicate maybe 75% of Boogie’s stats for half the price, while Adreian Payne is a lottery prospect who projects as a stretch-big.

Why Atlanta does it: Boogie + Al Horford + Kyle Korver + Mike Budenholzer’s offense (+ the Eastern Conference). The Hawks would take on a huge risk in going from Jeff Teague to Dennis Schroeder as their starting point guard, but that frontcourt alone might win the East.

b.) Sacramento trades DeMarcus Cousins and Carl Landry to Washington for Bradley Beal, Nene Hilario, and Otto Porter Jr.

Why Sacramento does it: This is a pretty good return for the Kings, in the unlikely event that they were to shop Boogie. Bradley Beal has taken a step back this season but still has star potential and would team up with another fellow-St. Louisan on the wing in Sacramento with Ben McLemore, and Nene will miss 20 or so games but provide toughness and leadership from either big-man position. Otto Porter Jr. constitutes the prospect with upside while the Kings could dump a bad long-term contract on the Wizards in either Carl Landry or Jason Thompson. John Hollinger is not a fan of this trade from the Kings’ perspective, for what it’s worth.

Why Washington does it: John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins, that’s why! Just think of the 2016 free agency pitch to Kevin Durant…